Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Shifting Predictions

The realm of digital and real is blurring slightly faster than predicted, and we felt it necessary to alert our readers to the updated timetable.

The impetus for this correction is the September 18 issue of Entertainment Weekly. Subscribers in New York and LA will receive a copy containing a video and audio advertisement embedded in the magazine. Additional data can be located here.

A demonstration of the technology in use is available here.

If the ability to place a digital video clip in a print publication can be inverted, there is no limit to the potential. At last, candy could be digitized and distributed electronically, as shown in this safety video.

Of course, this is only the tip of the iceberg. Now that the boundary between reality and the internet has been breached, it is only a matter of time before we begin to enter the online realm ourselves.

So, for those of you keeping track, here is the revised projected timetable:

September 2009: First digital video embedded in print publication.

May 2010 (estimated): Digital embeds common.

January 2012 (estimated): Initial test of matter to digital transference of sample merchandise (70% chance of error; thousands die consuming tainted chocolate).

March 2012 (estimated): Errors corrected; digital distribution methods perfected.

June 2012 (estimated): Initial attempts to bridge the gap by sending a human into the digital world malfunction, creating a monster between realities; hungry, angry, and immortal, this becomes a blight upon the Earth.

July 2012 (estimated): Errors corrected; digital projection becomes common means of transportation.

November 2012 (estimated): Computerized elements, barraged by shards of the digitized souls of those passing through their world, awaken.

January 2013 (estimated): The newly awakened programs declare war on humanity.

So, as you can see, we are seeing an unanticipated acceleration towards digital war. Previous estimates of course placed the war with machines as late as 2033.

We suggest you update your calendars.

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