Saturday, November 14, 2009

Going Green

And so it begins.

Last month, we drew your attention to our government's preemptive attack on the lunar surface and the dangers that entailed.  The findings of that action have now come to light.

There is water, it seems, buried beneath the moon's cold surface.

Next, we suspect, the scientists and politicians will seek to exploit this discovery.  Already, stage one is in discussion: the construction of a permanent moon base.

But that is only the start.  It is only a matter of time, we fear, before the terraforming of the moon's surface begins.  Giant domes will soon be constructed, in which we'll use the newly found water to start growing crops in the lunar soil.

Before long, the tranquility of the moon will be interrupted with the viral green plantation of Earth.  When this occurs, the unique environmental conditions of the moon will be lost, buried beneath our alien plants.  Eventually, the moon will be but a mirror of the ball it orbits, losing all individuality and distinguishing features in the spreading sea of our biological pollution.

As environmentalists, we cannot permit this.  The nul-ecosystem of the lunar surface has remained in balance for million of years, cared for and protected by the sublunarean Moon Men dwelling deep beneath the ground.  To introduce living, growing things into this rich environment will destroy what makes it special.

It will also likely further enrage the Moon Men, who have shown remarkable restraint in the wake of last month's attack.

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