Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Big Changes for The Middle Room

Having previously failed to capture the interest of a new, young audience, The Middle Room is preparing to undergo a massive reconstruction. We'll be wrapping up all current features and series by the end of August, to be followed by a completely new, completely relaunched blog experience in September.

What can you expect from this new site? We're rebuilding the entire Middle Room from the ground up to offer a newer, edgier, sexier blog.

What does all that mean? Two words: chin straps. That's right, new, edgy chin straps. Sexy chin straps. And maybe some knee pads. Also, all toys displayed in our photos must, by editorial mandate, now wear pants. No exceptions*. We're relaunching all series at #1, providing a jumping-on point for blog-readers who are too intimidated to start reading an ongoing blog. For example, our review of Transformers 3 will be a review of Transformers 1. It's just that edgy.

To our longtime fans who have grown accustomed to the way things are, we have this to say: don't let the door hit you on the way out. That's right. We don't need you anymore. Why? Because we've got the future of blog distribution figured out, and here it is: same day digital distribution. That's right. Beginning in September, all blog posts on the Middle Room WILL BE AVAILABLE ON DIGITAL DEVICES ON THE SAME DAY THEY'RE POSTED HERE. Our analysts have assured us this will draw in a newer, younger, hipper audience.

In case that last part wasn't clear, we mean a newer hipper younger audience than the one we currently have (you).

So get out your chin straps, and get ready to party like it's 1994. Because, clearly, that's the future.

*A small number of pant-less exceptions may be made for edgy photographs, but they must be sufficiently edgy.


Jesse said...

It's about time. You really don't need me as part of your market any more.

Erin Snyder said...

Precisely. I mean, maybe if you owned an iPad, or something...

J. Curtis Jennison Jr. said...

Ya got to make the money some how and god knows that the only people in this economy are the young, hip kids. I say reboot the middle room away! Start calling in the Back Room. Isn't that where all the kids go to do their drugs do they can fly like an airplane anyway???

Erin Snyder said...