A Ray of Light

We have made no secret regarding our affections for The Chronicles of Riddick, but have long known that a sequel would require a miracle. Well, dear reader, it seems that a miracle may be in the works.

The Chronicles of Riddick is a glorious film. Half of the movie works in its own right, succeeding in the creation of a dark universe well deserving of the term "bad ass". But it is the other half, the half that fails miserably, which truly makes the movie shine. Planets such as 'Crematoria', where the sunrise brings a tide of fire, or the villainous Necromongers, partially dead gothic centurions who behave like unsupervised first graders: these are the elements that make The Chronicles of Riddick endure.

Dare we say: these are what make it a classic.

The Chronicles of Riddick is a phenomenon. Aspects of the movie are actually quite good. And there are elements which are astonishingly stupid. But the latter do not detract from the film at all. Instead, they elevate the movie to new heights.

Most importantly, there is an element of Wolverine in the character of Riddick which makes the movie appealing to the twelve year old inside us all. This is not a movie for the child in us, but rather the juvenile adolescent. Consider this the dark reflection of Zathura if you like.

This is, after all, the movie where Vin Diesel convinced Judi Dench to play Dungeons & Dragons in order to better appreciate her character.

In the film she plays an air elemental.

As much as we enjoy Pitch Black, The Chronicles of Riddick is so much more than its predecessor. Pitch Black was merely good, while Riddick is simultaneously great and awful at the same time. It is a delightful marriage of flavors with one seemingly insurmountable flaw.

The ending, one of the best cliffhangers ever used to close a motion picture, seemed destined to never be continued.

We are thrilled that there is a chance - however small - for this to be rectified.

Summer 2008, A Retrospective

The summer draws to a close, and with the season gone, we must bid farewell to the films that came in its wake.

What a year it was.

Never before have we seen so many superhero movies of such high caliber released so close together. In terms of comic book movies, the past four months cannot be compared with past summers or even past years. You need to look at decades. We can say with neither hyperbole nor irony that the past four months saw a greater number of exceptional comic book films than either the 1980's or 1990's. Really.

And that was only half of it. We've seen fantasy, science fiction, and animation, as well as a few films that defy description. This has been an amazing summer.

Rating these films has been trying to say the least. We saw no fewer than twelve movies at the theater this summer. Some we saw more than once.

Of course, as is always the case, as time passes our opinions change with it. So, in celebration of the season that's passed, we would like to revisit these twelve films and reminisce. Rather than arrange them arbitrarily or by date, we'll count down to our favorite film of the summer:

12. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
While we saw no movies this summer that left us with nothing positive to report, this came the closest. There were certainly impressive visual elements about the film, but the awful script prevented it from leaving any real impression.

11. Prince Caspian
This was a bit mixed. There was actually a great deal to enjoy here, and the absurdity of watching children slaughter their foes on the field of battle made for an enjoyable evening. But fine cinema this was not.

10: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
By most metrics, this was a far superior movie to the two that preceded it - and perhaps several that follow. Even so, this came very close to getting stuck behind Caspian: in fact, we entertained the thought of declaring it our least favorite of the year, behind even The Mummy. Why were we so venomous? It is a question of expectations and legacy. We expect a great deal from an Indiana Jones movie, and this did not deliver. While other movies we've seen may have been worse, this was easily the largest disappointment. Still, there were enough exceptional moments that we were forced to confess we liked it better than the last two films.

9. Wanted
At this point we've crossed a line. Beginning with Wanted, every movie that follows is one we really enjoyed. Of these, we've placed Wanted at the BACK of that line. Why? Because after seeing the movie, we read the comic. While the source material is far from perfect, it is a much more intelligent work than the film, and the movie suffers in comparison. Nevertheless, this was still fun to watch.

8. Kung Fu Panda
We initially described this as 'likable,' and there is no reason to alter that appraisal now. Kung Fu Panda was highly likable, but not much more. We'd have liked more, of course, but we were content with what we received.

7. Tropic Thunder
Had we compiled this list immediately after seeing Tropic Thunder, we may have placed this at number eight. But Tropic Thunder improves with time: there is a lot here to reflect on and enjoy. This wasn't a movie we'd planned on seeing at the start of the summer: indeed, we hadn't even known of its existence. But every summer needs at least one surprise, and this was 2008's. If you miss this in the theaters, be sure to rent it when it hits dvd.

6. The Incredible Hulk
Here things grow truly difficult. From here on in, every film is one which achieved greatness. That The Incredible Hulk is in sixth place reflects only the strength of the summer: had this been released last year, it would have easily made our top three.

5. The Dark Knight
Before you grow upset, let us say this: were this a list of the BEST movies of the summer, this would have easily claimed the #2 spot. But this is a list of our FAVORITE movies, and, while we certainly enjoyed The Dark Knight, we have too many points of contention to place it higher. We understand why we're in the minority here, we appreciate why others have elevated this movie to the level it's achieved, and respect the movie for what it was. It is an amazing film and a cultural phenomenon, and we wish it could have beaten Titanic as the highest grossing movie of all time (it was stopped, we suspect, only because dvds have become a more popular method of viewing films). But, simply put, there were movies we enjoyed more.

4. Iron Man
This is an example of a comic book movie that was done right. Those making the movie understood why the character worked. They understood the world they were playing with, and they put together a film that was both completely enjoyable and fascinating at the same time.

3. Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Everything we just said about Iron Man applies to Hellboy II, only more so. This was immensely enjoyable to watch. What's more, as we mentioned in our review, it bodes very well for The Hobbit. As much as we enjoyed the first Hellboy, this puts it to shame. This is an incredible sequel.

2. Speed Racer
In the interest of full disclosure, we are forced to admit there is a chance Speed Racer's placement was influenced by the negative response it received from most critics - we are occasionally rebellious and enjoy being contrary. But make no mistake, we absolutely loved every minute of this movie. There is nothing else like it in existence, and that is a tragedy. To anyone who couldn't appreciate Pops Racer's line about the "non-ja"... you've our sincere sympathy. This movie may not have been for everyone, but it was absolutely for us.

1. Wall*E
What else could it be? Wall*E is undeniably the best movie of the year so far. It is also our favorite. While we still consider it slightly beneath Finding Nemo and The Incredibles, it is still one of Pixar's best. We've seen this twice already, and when the dvd comes out, we'll watch it a dozen more times.

Movie Review - Tropic Thunder

We in The Middle Room see few parodies these days. This wasn't always the case, of course. When we think of our childhood years, we think of films such as Monty Python and the Holy Grail, UHF, and of the collected works of Mel Brooks (iD&Di: .32).

But somewhere along the way things fell apart. We don't recall when we first grew bored with the genre, but, to an extent, we outgrew it. Perhaps that is too generous an assessment: parody has become largely a mockery of what it once represented.

We exclude from this indictment a growing subsection of "quasi-parodies." Movies such as Sky High, Enchanted, Galaxy Quest, and Shaun of the Dead, while certainly containing elements of the parody, are films driven by character first. The references are there, no doubt, but these are peripheral to the main concept of the films. All of these are phenomenal pictures: if you missed any of these, we recommend them wholeheartedly. But they are genre films first. They are superhero movies, science fiction, or horror: the comedy is not the sole point.

But there exists a type of film where the comedy stands at the forefront. When we accuse the genre of faltering, we refer to the trend of reference-driven movies which show no sign of thought or reason. A reference, lacking context or purpose, is the lowest form of comedy, below even the infamous pun.

But there is room in our cineplexes for films crafted of references and jokes, provided there is thought, as well. Tropic Thunder, we are happy to report, is a parody worth watching. What's truly impressive is that this is an actual parody; slapstick even. The characters exist to tie the scenes and jokes together.

What separates this from lesser attempts is the degree of thought that has been invested. Expense was not spared on the effects or the sound design. The movie draws you in then gives you something to laugh at. But the jokes are complex. Rather than go for the cheap joke at every turn, there was actual thought put into this script.

Mike Myers (iD&Di: .41), perhaps, should take notes.

We would also be remiss were we to ignore the acting and makeup work. If you've heard anything about this movie, you've no doubt heard that Robert Downey, Jr. (iD&Di: .42) is hilarious. Between Tropic Thunder and Iron Man, this is certainly a good year for him.

But Downey was aided by some exceptional makeup work. It is our sincere belief that Tropic Thunder is deserving of the Oscar for best makeup. This is not hyperbole: it is fact.

On a scale of one to five, where five stars is equal to the greatness of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, we wouldn't hesitate to give Tropic Thunder three and a half. This is an exceptional event: a parody in this day and age actually worth seeing.

The Riddle of Celluloid

It has come to our attention that one of the strangest projects we've ever heard of is in the works. It is a prequel, of sorts, to a movie close to our hearts.

It is the story, we are told, of Thulsa Doom, leader of the snake-worshipping cannibalistic hippies from Conan: The Barbarian.

Before we expound on the upcoming project, we'd like to take a moment to say a few words about fantasy, comic book movies, and Conan: The Barbarian.

What do these subjects have to do with each other? Strangely enough, everything. The Dark Knight, which we've already discussed in quite some depth, is being celebrated for seeming to rise above its genre. While we've expressed... mixed feelings about such a concept, we are certainly unable to deny that much of The Dark Knight's strength came from the fact that the film makers took the property seriously and filmed as they would any great movie. We salute them.

Likewise, Peter Jackson's (iD&Di: .90) Lord of the Rings took a similar philosophy, refusing to discount their subject.

Both of these properties were treated as epic films and developed accordingly. We have admiration for such courage and conviction: it is in short supply. For every Peter Jackson, after all, there is a Uwe Boll; for every Christopher Nolen (iD&Di: .34), a Joel Schumacher.

Jackson and Nolen are both visionary directors, but the path they followed had been forged long before they began. This was done in The Empire Strikes Back, in Superman, and, of course, in Conan: The Barbarian.

In various aspects, Conan can claim a home in both fantasy and comic book genres (while it was originally a series of fantasy novels, the comics developed much of the mythology used on the film). There were many opportunities to treat the film as a joke: one might even say there was an expectation the director would take such a route. But John Milius (iD&Di: .31) chose to treat his source material with respect. He crafted an epic.

And herein lies the heart of the matter: could this prequel possibly hope to even pay tribute to the original? Can anyone step into the blood-soaked shoes James Earl Jones once wore? If the answer is no, there is little hope. But if the creators are wise enough, perhaps... just maybe... a film could at last be forged that is worthy of being in the same world as Conan: The Barbarian.

But we are sceptical. It doesn't help that the reason this particular project was able to progress so far has more to do with the rights behind the character than anything else (as we understand, Thulsa Doom was appropriated along with the rights to Red Sonja, and thus this project was born).

It is also possible that the project could collapse: many properties have suffered such a fate. Perhaps this would be best.

On the other hand, even if the makers of this new film have no comprehension of what they're working on, even if it is an awful abysmal mess, we will be consoled by a single truth:

It will still be better than either Conan: The Destroyer or Red Sonja.

Did We Forget To Mention....

It seemed like as good a time as any to address some recent business in the world of capes and comics. As always, Comic Con has unleashed hundreds of stories, many of which we'll be sifting through in the months to come.

One story, in particular, caught our attention: it seems that Neil Gaiman is writing an upcoming Batman story entitled "Whatever Happened To The Caped Crusader?"

As the story notes, the title alludes to Alan Moore's "Whatever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow". While the article claims this to be one of the top 5 best Superman stories ever written, we respectfully disagree.

We consider this the single best Superman story that's ever been told in comic form. We sincerely hope Gaiman is up to the challenge.

And speaking of Superman, we'd be remiss in omitting this unusual story. The short of it is that we will be watching at least one episode of Smallville this season. While we're intrigued that the Legion of Superheroes is making a cameo, the real factor is Geoff Johns, possibly our favorite writer still working regularly in comics.

And finally, we are always looking for signs that we are not alone. When the Vatican finally admitted that Superman was not an enemy of the church, we announced and applauded their decision. It took a great deal of courage, we suspect, to risk Lex Luthor's enmity.

While the Vatican may have extended a hand of friendship to Superman (and any other extraterrestrials living among us), they gave no real endorsement that such beings existed. That's where NASA comes in, or, at the very least, where a former astronaut makes an unsubstantiated claim.

That's right: the door is now open for ET, The Predator, Darkseid, and, most importantly, Superman.

Don't be afraid: when you get here, the church's doors are open.

Spider-Sense

There are hundreds of superheroes we like to see given a movie of their own. We whittle away the hours sometimes imagining these films. Some, we've waited our lifetimes to see; some have stories so perfectly suited for the big screen, it's a crime they haven't already been made.

And, instead of producing one of these masterpieces, Sony has decided to produce a spin-off following the adventures of Venom.

The move begs several questions. First, will the story even follow Eddie Brock, who seemed to die at the end of Spiderman 3? It almost seems unlikely, as some reports have suggested: Sony may be looking to recast.

Of course, they may merely be thinking of recasting Brock with a different actor. Somehow we doubt this as well: given his rather unambiguous death, we'd be surprised to see them bring the character back as a different actor. The symbiote, on the other hand, could easily have survived to find a new host.

If they use a new character and have him become a new Venom, the question still remains, "Why bother?" Fans of the character - not that many remain - would be irritated at the revision. We know the answer, of course, is as simple as money: studios are traditionally quick to exploit properties, whether or not there is wisdom in such action.

But is the world really interested in a Venom movie?

Movie Review - The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

It is our sincere opinion, upon great reflection and consideration, that a discussion of this, the most recent Mummy film, would be entirely without merit or purpose were we to examine it in the absence of Rotten Tomatoes.

If you are unfamiliar, Rotten Tomatoes collects as many reviews as possible, boils them down to a simple dichotomy - thumbs up or down, as it were - and provides a percent, supposedly mirroring a movie's worth.

We fear the mirror may reflect darkly in some cases, which is surely what has occurred here.

If Rotten Tomatoes is to be believed, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is a horrible picture, scoring a measly ten percent. But The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is not horrible; it is merely very bad.

This may seem a trivial observation, but, to put things in perspective, Catwoman is equally ranked. While no one could ever accuse The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor of being good, it was nowhere near as awful as this.

But then polarization is built into the methodology used by Rotten Tomatoes. This isn't so much an error as a limit to the tool's power. While Rotten Tomatoes can usually tell you if a movie is good or bad, it is not capable of telling you how good or how bad. Interpreting a very low grade in such a manner can sometimes be misleading.

Of course, there are other problems with the site. For instance, it is only as capable as the critics it collects, who are themselves far from infallible. But this is a subject we've discussed before: there is little reason to dwell on it now.

Let us turn our attention instead to the movie we set out to discuss. The Mummy. Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.

Our first criticism is with how the movie was filmed. It is our sincere opinion that the producers ought to have selected a different director of photography. Why? Because the movie was actually shot well, a fact we found jarring in contrast to the incompetent writing and choreography, and most other aspects of the film.

Had the movie been shot with less skill, we think, it might have seemed less disjointed as a whole. Of course a similar effect might have been achieved by hiring more talented individuals to handle other aspects of the process, but clearly this is far too much to ask.

The least forgivable sin was the writing. The dialogue in the previous Mummy films, while perhaps less than brilliant, was never less than entertaining. Here, every line drags. The laughs are few and far between, as is the action.

And when the action does begin, it fails to satisfy. On every level, the first two Mummy films are fun. This simply is not. There are a few moments that are interesting: many of the effects deliver what was promised. The three-headed dragon, the yeti, and the undead horses are impressive, but they are not enough to entertain. Our enjoyment at the dragon, for instance, felt more academic than heartfelt. It is a sad fate for this franchise, though parallels can be drawn to other recent films.

On a scale of one to five, where five is the original Mummy, we can give this no more than two stars. Movie tickets are expensive these days: wait to rent the dvd this time.