Thursday, February 5, 2009

Bring Out Your Dead

It is rare that indeed that the mundane news of the world outside finds its way into The Middle Room. Truly, the interests of the geek are, by and large, above the petty concerns that trouble the twenty-four hour cable news channels and antiquated newspapers filling the subways and streets.

But, as is often the case with rules, there exist exceptions. One area of overlapping concern is the undead, which pose a real threat to geek and human alike.

Of course, we in The Middle Room pride ourselves with knowing the weaknesses of any such affronts to creation's laws we are likely to meet. However, when a situation appears involving creatures from beyond the grave, we sit up and take note, particularly when reported by the Associated Press.

In this situation, road signs have been illegally accessed, so their warning messages could be altered to inform riders of the walking dead.

Of course, law enforcement is concerned that the altered signs could present a safety risk. There is a real danger that a driver, distracted by the message, could cause an accident - potentially even a fatal one.

In such a scenario, the deceased could rise as a zombie themselves, and wander the highways in search of food. Lacking the basic capacity for reasoning possessed by the living, the undead can create an even more dangerous distraction.

Of course, were this to occur, we can take some solace that there would at least be warning signs present, albeit something of a self-fulfilling prophesy.

In other news pertaining to the undead, Stephen King has recently been criticized for comments he's made about the author of Twilight.

We in The Middle Room would like to join the chorus of voices condemning King's off-the-cuff remarks. From what we've heard, the books are far, far worse than he lets on: to suggest that the author can't write "worth a darn" leaves open the possibility that there is some, albeit small, value to this fad.

We strongly encourage King, in the future, to use harsher language regarding this brand of tripe drivel being spoon-fed to teens.

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